I love how the people that argue so fiercely to keep “Christ” in Christmas are the ones that buy the most in the whole materalistic, selfish gift-buying bullshit ponzi scheme.
I love Christmas, and in many ways I am still a child about it- I want my Xmas tree, I want my stockings, I love spending all day watching “A Christmas Story” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.” But in the last couple of years, my family stopped doing gifts and it really bought new meaning to Christmas. No more dealing with the mall and running all over buying $50 blankets and lame holiday-themed scarves for everyone. Not doing gifts forced me to get back in touch with what is really important. Instead of spending time away from people I love so I can buy them useless things, I get to spend time with them.
I will TEAR my hair out if one more person asks me what I’m getting Beau, what I got for Xmas, or pepper their facebook with lame declarations about how ~omg they got a Wii game~. Just watch. I may be bald the next time you see me.
I miss Europe. This picture was taken in Praha.
I resolve to stop bad energy from coming into my life. I will surround myself with positive, mature, unconditional, understanding people. I will avoid channels of negativity and passive-aggressiveness. I will let go of toxic people and elements. Instead, I hope to become a better and happier person.
Being so busy with school makes me really appreciate free time.
Today I can officially say that I am halfway done with my dual masters degree. It can only get easier from now on :)
My new year’s resolution is to blog more! (but that is in 23 days)
Sometimes I see how organized and motivated brides-to-be are about their weddings, and I feel so guilty that I am moving so slowly. I love Beau, and I have never been so sure about anything in my life. I love waking up next to him every morning and I never feel like anything really happens unless he is right by me or until I tell him all about it… and I know eventually I will become really excited about the wedding thing, but I just don’t really have any inspiration.
I don’t want to spend $30,000 on a princess wedding, because that’s not our relationship. I don’t want to elope because our relationship is about the people in our lives- our parents, siblings, close friends, etc and they have to be there (hard to figure out the logistics of an elopement with 50 other people…). I don’t want a destination wedding because I want to get married where I am comfortable. I don’t want to get married in a church because I am so angry at what religion does to our country, and because we’re the least religious couple ever. That does not really leave us with many options, and honestly, I could care less what font to use in our invitations…
Really, all I’m thinking about is how excited I’m going to be when I see him at the other end of the aisle. I could be wearing jeans and cowboy boots or a freaking prom dress, and it would not make any difference. I’m going to marry my best friend, and that’s all that matters.
I just wish I knew more people that felt the same way as I do and that would support my desire for a BBQ, beer, backyard wedding (other than my mom).
With Don’s death, I just realize how short life is, and I really need to stop making myself so unhappy to please others.
I constantly struggle with how I view the future and how I want things to happen in accordance to my political views. I live in a very liberal but yuppie city, which is virtually perfect for me because I am a liberal yuppie, but I feel bad that I’m not doing more. I am conflicted because some of the things I want the most in my life are the least politically or ideologically proactive.
While I want to save the world, I have no real desire to go out to the Congo and lead movements for democracy. I will probably never go to developing nations and help change conditions there. Perhaps it requires a person of stronger will and more guts than me, but I am content with trying to create change at home. In some circles, this would make me such a poser and typical American, but I’m just trying to follow my heart.
I want to have a beautiful home, have a family, have my stupid gadgets and have the freedom of mobility and convenience. While these are genuine desires, I can’t help but feel guilty all the time about it. I feel horrible that I am not doing more. Even going to graduate school and giving up some of my time to promote change from within America doesn’t feel like enough- then I get angry at others for not doing enough.